Friday, 4 April 2014

The Decision.

It's been made. And it's final.

The U!!!!!

I am thrilled! I am thrilled I get to stay in state with my family, friends, Business, etc. I am thrilled that he will graduate completely debt free.  I am thrilled I get to stay with my baby girls and nurture my studio until it is the biggest, most well-known in the state! I am thrilled we get to live in one of our favorite cities ever- Cottonwood Heights. Where we both grew up! I am thrilled he got a scholarship.  I am thrilled it will be a cake walk for him to be in the top of his class.  I am thrilled.

But if I were to end there, I wouldn't be being "real". Which is why I started this blog- to be real. Really me and really honest.  I am honestly Stoked about this decision, but I am also a little bummed. I am bummed that Hayes had to turn down a freaking phenomenal scholarshp offer (they practically begged) from a ranked 15 school! (The U is 40 or 50 something) I am bummed I don't get to move to California and live in the only other place than here that feels like I belong.  I am bummed that Hayes doesn't get to show off a fancy bumper sticker of a top-ranked law school (many of which accepted him) that is brag worthy. I am bummed the projected median salary went from 6 to 5 digits once we picked this school. But at the end of the day, I am realizing that the Lord has blessed me with a new kind of trial. (Thank goodness he gave me a break from the other ones- I don't think I could have handled any more).

I am used to handling crazy, chaotic, cops-involved trials and drama.  But this is different.  This is a quiet, logical trial.  Like I said in my other post, emotion can't solve or cope with this trial.  Which is nice! I am just not used to it.

I am learning to be grateful, and stable, and in love with my life and the guy I get to share it with- that part is easy.  I am learning to make decisions as a couple (something very difficult for this domineering diva).   I am learning that sometimes my way is not the best way (don't tell the dancers this haha). I am learning that bigger is not always better, and that following your heart and ignoring your head only works when you're a young single adult (moving to DC, falling in love with a rocker in Malibu, opening a dance studio).  But now that I am getting older, I am realizing there are other good options. Not just the most exciting ones.

So there you have it.  Maybe I am a little bitter because I bleeeeeed blue haha. But you betcha I will support that red through and through!

I cannot even fathom what the future has in store, and I could not be more excited.  All I know is that as long as I am with William, all is well. Oh and God was right- it does all work out if you trust him.

xoxo Will's Wife


Monday, 31 March 2014

Becoming Will's Wife

So I got engaged!!! It was the best thing of my life.  Everything I ever dreamed it would be. Pure Blisssss. I love it. I love being engaged. I love William. More than anything in the world.  But becoming his wife... has been quite the journey.

It was a no-brainer that we would be together.  He is my soulmate.  But the "how" it was all going to work... is still coming into view.

We have been struggling with this law school decision.  For a very long time now.  There are SO many factors, SO many options and SO many different outcomes.  And the worst part: they are all good, worthy options.  If one was bad, it would be easy to decide and pick the 'good' one.  But they are all good, in their own way.  There is no obvious answer, it totally depends on who you ask.  Each option comes with its own risks and its own rewards, its own trials and its own blessings.  I feel very blessed that we do have options, but it is SUCH a hard decision.  We change our minds every minute of every day.  One second we are leaning toward this option and the next day our perspective sides with another, different option.

Perspective. That is what this is really all about.  And we have enough of it to last us a life time.  We have the studio perspective, the law school perspective, the financial perspective, the family perspective, the lifestyle perspective, and millions more.

Nobody will ever understand the battle William and I have fought throughout this process.  Unfortunately, many times it was against each other.  With so many perspectives, it is rare if we are both on the same page at the same moment.  And the second we are, our perspectives change.  We both strive to be selfless, but then we fight over the other person being too selfless. It is such a battle. And like I said, noone will ever know the struggle it has been for us.

Last night was different, though.  It was a quiet struggle.  A law school made us an offer and they are giving us 7 days to decide on it.   This would be easy except the other schools we were counting on that may be better options have yet to voice their decisions.  So how can We make a decision without all the cards on the table?

Last night we decided it was time to sit down and really talk about it. Within the first five minutes of our conversation I began to cry.  The conflicting wishes are overwhelming and I have a hard time being logical about such an emotionally-charged decision.  He held me and we tried to keep talking.  It was something I couldn't cry my way out of this time.  I am just grateful for his strength and patience with me.  So we talked some more.  We listed our options like we have done millions of times before.  We went over the pros, the cons, the risks, the rewards, the what-ifs, the what-if-nots, the advice from others, the research, the long term, the short term, our goals, our situations, our friends, our family, our jobs, our priorities, and a million other factors.  And we talked our way into hours of contemplation that ended the same way it started: tears.  And so here we are.

I know when I look back on our lives, this will be but a small moment.  But right now it feels like the most difficult, far reaching decision ever.  All I want is for him to be happy and fulfilled, and all he wants is for me to be happy and fulfilled.  But with so much unknown and so much on the line, it is so very difficult to make this decision.

So we will take it one day at a time. And I know that everything will work out, just not quite sure how.

Most engaged couples plan their wedding, and figure out where they need to move/live for the husband to have a career.  But in our case, my career is very much established and immovable which makes it difficult because I want nothing more than for him to reach his incredible potential in the law field and be the breadwinner he was meant to be. But trust me, we have come up with every option available (and unavailable).

I just have to trust that if we keep praying and working together, this decision will be made in its due time in the best way possible.

xoxo Will's Wife
{  almost ;)  }

Wednesday, 12 February 2014

Of Lately

I'm telling you.  I can't ever keep this thing up to date.  That is partially because there isn't a Ton to update on...

Studio stuff is still all-consuming.  But, it is definitely becoming more enjoyable.  The stress never leaves, but I have learned to embrace and manage it.  At the end of the day, no matter how overwhelmed I am, I still love my job! Which is a lot more than many people can say.  I feel very blessed.

And torn! ...but that part will come later. This year. And until then, it is negligible. 

So last Fall was good.  I am learning at a rapid rate- about running a business, handling dance moms, deciphering priorities, overcoming illness, managing staff, and a bajillion other things that I have listed under my lengthy iphone note title "DLA for Next Year". 

But I feel that I am doing extremely well for our first year.  And the exciting part- it will only get better from here!! I have wild dreams and goals for my studio, but I have to remember- you can't eat an elephant over night.

Anyway, I am very passionate about my business, the girls. Oh the girls.  They mean so so much to me!! It kinda scares me haha.  The care I have for them and the amount of sacrifice and investment I commit to them... must be what that parenting thing feels like.

So Hayes is good. He graduated from his undergrad in economics YAY! and retook the LSAT to get an incredible score of 168.  I could not be more proud of him! And curious as to how he is being so successful with such an overly-passionate crazy girlfriend haha.  I am just glad I have the studio or I think my desire to distract him would be much higher.  It's kinda weird to see that Hayes and I are growing up together.  But very exciting at the same time.  And I love it.  I love having us achieving goals and growing in our own ways, yet together.  Its so fun to have a best friend that is so invested in your success and knows you sooo well and cares to understand every aspect of you and loves you and kisses you... love those kisses! So anyway- he's great.  He now works full time at a law firm in American Fork. I should say he works part time, because part of the time he is eagerly on his phone checking law school application statuses haha.  I love to see his dedication to his career.  It is refreshing and lends to our commonality of priorities.  (He would be really confused about reading this because all I do is complain about him being on his phone 24/7 checking apps) haha.  He has been accepted to a few schools, namely Minnesota who offered him $90,000. HELLO!!! yaaaa. He's a stud.

Another fun thing we were able to do last Fall was spend some time with my brothers and lovely step mom!  I have really missed my family that is my brothers and Carol.  Like really bad.  They are so much a part of me, and to be able to spend so much time with them over this last year- pure heaven.  I LOVE going to Jaxon's gigs or hanging out with Jayden, causing some kinda mischief.  And I love having them get to know Hayes- because they sure do like him! I kinda do too... haha.  And my lovely step mom- who went through more than anyone will ever know for my dad, and is seriously the best step mom a girl could ask for! Ever!!!! I have just loved spending time with them.  They are part of my identity and my wonderful family.  I love it! I love watching my brothers be in high school and meeting their friends and fighting the urge to be an overbearing protective big sister haha.  I love hearing about their passions and plans for the future.  So great.

So ya! I've been pretty happy these days.  Which is good, because opening the studio was hell.  It was so much pressure, physical labor, and anxiety beyond belief.  But now I am able to enjoy and improve it. I have also gotten back to the gym and lost 7 lbs! Although, this week has been a struggle.  But I will push through.  I can't wait for Valentine's Day!! I got Hayes an awesome present and he has something exciting planned!!

So for New Years, Hayes and I wrote down our 2014 goals.

Here are mine:
-Win Competitions
-Build my savings account
-Get married
-Be positive
-Create a more healthy/fit lifestyle
-Learn from my studio 1st year to make the 2nd year better
-Make the best of where William gets into law school
-Pray more
-Learn how to do my own nails
-Manage and lessen my stress
-Get more dancers at DLA

Here are Hayes':
-Get into a good law school
-Get straight A's
-Lose Weight
-Improve relationship
-Find a good job
-Exercise More
-Save money
-Be less stressed
-Be more organised

(yes, that is how he wanted to spell it)

So it appears we are well on our way to achieving these!  I love what has been going on this year and can't wait to see where it takes us!

xoxo miss jer bree

Thursday, 19 September 2013


Well my word. it has been a quick minute!!

I mean GEEZE!!!

My life is a whirlwind.  Like honestly. I opened the business- it's going very well.  A lot of stress and consumption of my life and sanity, but it's great. It's hard, too.  I did a lot of growing up in a little amount of time. I should be used to that, but this time it was a little harder. Or maybe it just feels that way...

I am at that age where I have become aware of my growing up and the agency involved.  Maybe this is what makes it sting a bit more.  Ya know like at age 3 kids are basically doing the same thing as other 3 years old.  And even seniors in high school are generally just being seniors in high school with the rare outliers.  But once you hit 23 years old... i mean wow! There is a vast spectrum of life decisions being made and the degree to which people are making them.  Some 23 year olds are married with 2 kids (you go Tune). Some are working retail and deciding if they want to pursue college.  Some are partying and making the greatest mistakes of their lives.  Some are opening businesses while others are dancing on poles.  Some are applying to grad schools while others are applying for a divorce. I mean by golly! The options are endless.  And the range in maturity levels... incredible. 

I feel like I was ready for this growth spurt. I guess? I mean are you really ever ready? How is readiness determined? by completing the previous stage? or by having an imminent need revealed? Who knows. Well I jumped into the studio biz and went full throttle and then I suddenly started feeling the pressure.  I am now the face of a brand.  People are choosing to invest in my brand based on many things- myself included.  Such investments determine the outcome of my business.  But no pressure...

It started with a twerk video my friend Adriane and I made.  It wasn't anything nasty like Miley Cyrus.  It was a fun harmless video for a 22yo to make... as long as she isn't the face of a classy thousand dollar investment.  I started feeling so torn like... eff the world imma be young and do me!! Haha but I pushed through and maintained that image.

Last night I was sitting with my little girls. I was painting a door at the studio and they were sitting around visiting.  One of them said "Miss Jerica. You are going to be such a great mom when you grow up!" Another one piped in "Hello!! Miss Jerica is already grown up!" Another one combated with, "No she isn't! She is still young and likes boys and stuff." The last one commented "Yeah maybe when she and Hayes get married she will be a grown up."

Oh how much joy this brought me.  Not to mention- these girls are my world.  But the fact that they realize I am young and I am human!! Although I still won't tell them that my "W" tattoo is real, I am allowed to be myself in their eyes and be silly and make mistakes and recover.  These little girls love me for who I am and for how old I am.  And goodness know they respect me and understand when to treat me as their coach and not their friend.  It helped me realize that I can do both- run the business and enjoy my youth. What a relief this was!

So anyway, reconciling that has been a huge step.

And besides annoying mom complaints, dead bats, broken ballet bars, more annoying moms, a leaking roof, third-degree burns, a few more annoying moms and cleaning toilets- I honestly feel like this dance studio is a dream!

No really tho... the annoying moms are few and far between.  They just tend to seem larger than life in my head.  The bulk of them love and support me like no tomorrow.  And I get to sleep in every day! Hollar! Being my own boss was a dream come true.  And a nightmare... ;)

The guy's a dream.  I don't want to brag too much or I fear someone will try their luck with him haha.  Our relationship has been pure bliss.  There must be something that happens at 2.5 years of dating.  It isn't honeymoon stage... and it's past the reality check... it is pure bliss.  Ya know? like when you realize you are both in it for the long haul and you have a system in place that works and you just fall deeper in love each day.  He is incredible.  Makes me laugh so hard.  Literally my best friend- I can only say that because we have gone thru hell together.  Multiple times.  But when I am with him I am happy. Treats me like a goddess and all we want to do is serve each other and nurture our relationship.  Our love has turned more selfless than it has ever been, and he is seriously my world.  I'm pretty sure the insta-universe is sick of hearing about him.  But I can't help it- the guy really is a dream.

Other updates: I am as big as a house, but working at getting to the gym. My Family is perfect as always.  I need to write a post about my dad... soon hopefully.

xoxo Miss Jer Bree

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