MJ my man, my hero.

If you know me... you KNOW the only man that truly has my heart is the one... the only...

MICHAEL JOSEPH JACKSON!!!!

i love him. i do, with all my heart. i cried over the great loss this world suffered when he passed on. i've delivered speeches about him, defended him countless times in social settings, and prayed for him and his well being. i am convinced my dad is teaching him the gospel on the other side, for michael's heart was so open he'll be the easiest convert yet. he was already an advocate for so many of the gospel's aspects such as love, charity, selflessness, developing your talents, caring for the children, etc. i really could talk for hours about my dear friend. i spent a lot of time this year getting to know the true mj and treading past what our critical world deemed him to be. he was so genuine and real, something we lack in our popular role models lately. he stood for something good, and not only lived, but defended his beliefs until his death. he did worlds with the unfortunate circumstances he was thrown into. his music is beyond genius, beyond aesthetically pleasing. he worked hard for what he had, and deserved every bit of it- all except for the negativity that plagued his whole life. negativity from family, press, ruthless prosecutors. mike knew tribulation, he knew determination, long-suffering, injustice. but he always let love, and his passion for life overrule them all.
This man is a legend, one that has influenced my life profoundly. I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to better understand him, and will continue to learn more as i meet others that strive to know him as well.
I am grateful for those that support my obsession. I have been given posters, books, magazines, music, pictures, dvd's, accessories, records etc all having to do with him. I couldn't be more grateful, and truly cherish such invaluable gifts.
I will continue to be an MJ advocate for as long as i live. during his time here, he was the voice for so many. i intend to do my part in letting his incredible image live on. I will keep this one short, sweet and to the point. but just know that my feelings on it go much deeper.

R.I.P.K.O.P.

Orientation to... hell.

Well although that's not the real title of my Thursday afternoon Psychology class, it should be!

Allow me to explain-

All Psychology majors, and minors i believe, have to take this class called Orientation to Psychology. It is suppose to be a light overview of the Psychology field. It is worth ONE credit. (Half as much as my religion courses). The first day, I sat and listened to Dr. Miller use big words and make abstract sentences that flew like paper cranes right over my head. The FIRST DAY i began to doubt my decision as a Psych major. But... if you know me you know it would take a lot more than that to make me change my mind. (it's that stubborn dutch blood). And so I persisted.



Let me give you some facts:

1. We were divided into groups- and i've spent more time with that group of mine than on any amount of religion homework. (Luckily i got an Awesome group, so i really don't mind them at all, but time is time).

2. We were assigned 2 big projects, multiple assessments (aka tests, but if you're in psych you must call them assessments to make you sound more intelligent), tons of reading, multiple questions that we had to submit, and the list goes on...

3. THE ABSURD TESTS! (previously referred to as assessments) are absurd. First of all- for each question on the test you put down 4 answers. If you are positive the answer is "B", you put down "B" four times. If you are split between two answers, put two of each etc etc. Okay so first you do that on your own, then you get with your group and do the same exact absurd test, but as a group. Except now you use an absurd scratch off. So if you think it is "B", you scratch off "B". If there is a star- happy day. If not- try again sucker! you are deducted for the amount of 'tries' or scratch offs you have. Do you believe me yet that it is absurd??

~Now, about the actual questions (equally absurd). He'll ask us specific numbers such as salary questions that apparently within my 300 pages of reading and probably well over 100 statistics, percentages, and salary figures i was suppose to use my superhero photo memory to recall. EARTH TO WHOEVER THE HECK MADE THIS TEST this is real life folks and i am an actually living person with weaknesses and a faulty human brain.

...but hold it

did i really just read an answer choice that said something about "grad school is better because professors party harder".... okay HOLD THE PHONE and i mean it. Are you really going to question my intelligence like that by giving away an answer. I don't need dumb answers to choose from or 'give away' points... oh wait maybe i do. But! only because you Know the other questions are completely ridiculously impossible! Why else would you feel the need to provide these freebies. BAM! That's what I thought.

And finally... the great t.a. I will withhold his name for ethical purposes, but boy is that something he lacks (ethics). He sends me pointless e-mails with random youtube videos attached. Sorry dude, but some of us take this 'college' thing seriously. Moreover, he provides outlandish (word choice by tessa hottie witt) comments on my midterm.

Exhibit A.

He had the NERVE to doodle some dumb hangman on my paper accusing me of being a 'brown noser'. Who does this guy think he is?? (whether i am actually guilty of such sucking up or not is beside the point).

But this is where this post takes a drastic turn...


He liked my work, and gave me a fantastic grade on it! Ahhh the satisfaction. So now that i'm done ranting and raving about how evil this class is, i can tell you how much i love it. It is quite a sick thing, but i do. I can't get enough of it. I love spending wayy too many hours with my group on a 1 credit course. I love having to look up 5 different words just to understand One of Dr. Miller's sentences. I love being called on the carpet and not getting away with my smirk attitude and cocky essays. And I LOVE being rewarded for my hard work.
i love psychology.

Lady Alliance

Alright so I have two other posts in the works... but they will have to wait because i am going to tell you about a little something called...

LADY ALLIANCE

AWWW YEAH! Lady Alliance contains and is limited to:

Darby Anne Miller

Eliza Anne Christensen

&
Jerica Bree Garrick (me!)

*First let me give you a brief history on how Lady Alliance (Furthermore referred to as L.A.) was formed.

It was the very beginning of Spring 2009- over a year ago. My lovers, darby and eliza, & myself became inseparable. We slept in the same room, hung with the same people, did the same things, and grew to be extremely close. One day we discovered what is called, "Man Council". As innocent young ladies, we felt threatened by the big bad Man Council. (note: we each ended up in a relationship with at least one or more of them, romantically or otherwise). Although they outnumbered us by about ten members, our power reached much further. And as strong, determined women, we would not tolerate such a male-run society. So they left us no choice but to form... Lady Alliance!!! We held meetings, had rituals, produced agendas, attended lunch dates, addressed important and unimportant topics ranging from what should i wear to whom i should date. (This is all past tense because L.A. has been undergoing minor transitions for some time now but will be back actively full throttle in August of 2010- still alive, just not as collectively active as we'd like.) Much, if not all of what we do cannot be disclosed because it is top secret. Lady alliance is... strong, determined, loving, gentle, kind, generous, understanding, compassionate, powerful, gracious, willing, intelligent, beautiful, forgiving, addicting, able, unyielding, fun, enduring, patient, durable, athletic, zealous.... L.A.=Life.

L.A. is something bigger than each of us, it is three great girls combining their strengths and compensating weakness to do good. You'll find that we compliment each other well, and all 3 of us working together is a recipe for success.

We have oft been compared to superhero's or charlie's angels... but we are Lady Alliance. Missionaries love us, parents praise us. We do everything together...

L.A. Halloween

L.A. gone Hiking

L.A. with our Shotguns

L.A. Hanging Out

L.A. Mission

L.A. in Silly Hats

L.A. at Lagoon

L.A. at the Temple

L.A. in Bearlake

L.A. at Walmart 4am
L.A. in Formation


...i could go on for years but...

L.A. these days:
No matter where we are, what we go thru, or how much time passes...
Long Live Lady Alliance!!
xoxo

And the award goes to....

Songs these days are getting more and more ridiculous. Let me demonstrate with a few awards...

The award for MOST ORIGINAL LYRICS goes to....

Lady Gaga Telephone!!!!!

ReAlLy GaGa???? From one of the (quote) most creative artist of our day, a song about a telephone! You'll wear wings, 5 foot crowns, ankle breaker platforms and mesh eye patches... yet the best lyrics you can come up with are about a household appliance?? What is the world coming to? What is your next song going to be titled... Carpet!?

The award for the MOST GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT SONG goes to...
Kesha Blah Blah Blah

And i quote, "It doesn't matter who you are it only matters who I is." YIKES! What are we teaching our kids? It's cool to get drunk to the point where you can't even remember what you learned in second grade English class??? Lets continue..., "I don't really care where you live at." ... Since when was it okay to end your sentence in a preposition?? It only gets worse from there...

I can't take anymore of this so that is all you are getting today. :)

Sleepless Nights Diagnosis

Some days i'm on top of the world, but other days the world is on top of me!

So when I started my blog, I wanted to make a vow to never write a negative blog. But such is not life, and I am all about being real. So- I hope this one isn't a downer... but how about this? I vow to always end my blogs on a happy note. There ya go :)

~If you don't know, i LoVe the show House, M.D. It is a top fave show of mine. So that may or may not have provided inspiration for this entry. I secretly want to go to medical school, but have no desire to spend that time or money. So instead i'm doing Psychology. Moving on...

Sleepless nights! such is MY life these days.

Factors:
I have something my entire family suffers from: Worry Wart Syndrome (aka Acute Stress Disorder). Yes, that is right. I worry about everything, everyone, And their dog! I also have what I like to call Over-Active Brain (like over-active bladder, but not...) It is the brain that just wont shut up, turn off, or pause for two seconds. There is no relief when the nighttime comes because when the sun goes down the thoughts flood in. I analyze everything, everyone, and, yes sadly, their dog!!
Another factor is my sweet, sweet roommate. She suffers from
Stertorous Respiration- bless her heart. Additional factors include the fact that i live in a very social apartment complex, have naturally social roommates, and sleep on a bed that is ruthless to my delicate body.

Symptoms:
1. Waking up feeling like i just got hit by a truck.
2. Not waking up at all because i've finally been able to fall asleep.
3. Waking up late and not having an adequate amount of time to get ready/grab food.
4. Being grumpy, sore, hungry, tired, having headaches, and an eye twitch alll day long.
5. Lack of focus or motivation.
6. No matter what I do or how many times i make my bed, in the morning it will look like a hurricane came through and tore my sheets/pillows in every which direction.
7. My 'factors' such as over-active brain and worry wart syndrome are getting worse even when i'm awake. I stress over people and things I can't control and feel like i need to fix/help everyone/everything- which is seemingly a burden (as it would be). Yet I don't even help those around me because i'm too overwhelmed and ornery. How counter productive is that!?

As you can see- this is a formula for disastrous, non-productive, miserable days.

Cure:
As a Psychologist-in-training, what would i naturally tell such a patient to do? "Go get help. See a doctor and have them prescribe some sleep aid pills. Go get counseling for the over active brain and minor anxiety. Begin practicing some form of yoga or other relaxation techniques. Eliminate stress in your life and focus only on what you can control." Although those may work and aren't bad ideas, Why would I prescribe this? Because Psychologist like to rule out the fact that we have agency, will power, and an omnipotent God (generalized statement). Therefore, modern day medicine looks like the best/only solution. But honestly- how many of you have experienced one or more of the symptoms/factors above? I highly doubt you ran to a doctor or psychologist.

So what am I going to do?

First! Go to the temple. Meditate there and ask the Lord for help. Infinite Atonement, please!
Second! Buy some ear plugs.
Third! Change my attitude. Make everyday a good one and create my own happiness each day.
Fourth! Serve others. My little issue of not sleeping is minimal compared to things like my friends that just went thru a hard break up or my grandma who is still stuck in her rehabilitation center.

The best part about these cures is that i KNOW they work. I'm not just on a trial drug that may or may not somewhat help a few of my symptoms.

Now this all may seem anti-modern medicine. My friend and I just got in a good discussion about this particular post. I was worried it came off too anti-doctors. But let me mind you... I am going into Psychology. I believe medicine is great and if things don't get better, might even try sleep aides. This is how I see it:

The Lord can give you strength... to move mountains. But if that is not his will, then to climb over them.

Can He help me get a good night's sleep? Absolutely! But if He won't... Then he'll point me to something else that will. (i.e. a good yoga class, effective medicine, soothing music etc.)


So the future is bright folks and my days are looking better already!

Here comes the sun... :)

*Although I have known it for a bit, yesterday i could finally feel the semester coming to a close. And thus, another year of school ending.*

1* The most obvious reason: SuNsHiNe! Oh how happy it makes my soul.

2* I finally got the 'college' thing down. Yes, it takes a whole year to train myself to study and perform well in the classroom. It is a slow progression, but a progression nonetheless. I finally get the hang of things, hence why i go Spring semester- such skills shouldn't go to waste by lounging near a pool... until summer at least.

3* I am enjoying the ride, but yet i can still name one significant event per each week left in the semester and then some. Time markers if you will.

***This week- a cappella jam,

next week- legally blonde at capitol,
the next week- st. george (can't wait to see my bff tuna!),
the next week- darbs bday and mom's tryouts,
the next week- finals!!!,
the next week- move home,
the next week- air's shower, hair apt & spring semester starts
the next week- lizzy's shower :)
the next week- et's 8 month

4* I'm starting to miss graduating people and they haven't even graduated yet.

5* The buzz on campus is all about how this semester is dragging out.

6* I'm hearing from people less and less because school is getting busier and busier.

7* People are starting to wear shorts, flip flops, and study outside on campus grounds .

8* Everyone is just happier! Not only is the glass half full, but its starting to fill up.

9* Life just makes more sense and that second wind pick-me-up has finally come!

My Lying Mother

So last weekend was my mother's dance concert...
She is the adviser (along with the help of her bff di) of the Alta High School Dance Company aka the best dance co in the state, nation dare i say.

Point of the story- she is incredible and the best of the best come to see her show each year. This year was no exception. Although, I confess i was a bit worried. Lately, our personal lives have been less than stable with grandparents in and out of the hospital etc. My mom also had to take a quick trip to Texas on the weekend before the concert. Due to such factors, as well as some others, she stressed that the concert mightn't come together. Now this is completely normal- every year she tells me that she is worried it won't turn out and blah blah blah, but this year she was straight up trippin! She kept asking me what if this was the one year it really didn't in fact come together. She had me all sorts of worried, but for no good reason at all. I was so mad at her after i saw the show the first night. It was PHENOMENAL!!! But ya know- my mom always does that. Why do people have such high expectations of her??? Because she Always exceeds them! Without fail! i.e. "jer this will be a light christmas" and i wake up to a million presents. Anyway, back to the topic at hand. Her concert was just incredible. Everyone that saw it loved it and raved how it was better than the college level dance concerts. I went all three nights and just Loved to be there and support my momma. This is a tradition we've had for years (she's been doing dance co for years). It's fun because each year we do the concert, our situation has obviously changed in the course of the last year. It's interesting to see how we've changed from year to year, our family situation, and the friends we bring each night. It is a marker of where we are in our lives that year.
This Year....

I brought:

Lizzy & Andrew! (My cute engaged friends)
She has been coming with me for years!!! Yes, we are sisters. And I am Sooo happy she found her prince! He is a stud... despite the fact he looks high in this picture haha. And he respects our sisterhood which is a huge blessing!

Lou!
The only member of Lady Alliance left in Utah (for now). She is my lover face and one of the greatest girls i've met. I keep hanging around her hoping she'll rub off on me. Also the best candidate for marriage... so boys, she's single!


Hilly!
Ahhh hill. This girl just fulfills something for me that is quite unique. She def gets my passion for dance, and life in general. One of the sweetest, most peculiar incredible people i know.

Grandma was unable to make it because of her poor leg...

... but she was there in spirit, and the rest of the crew in the flesh!

The men found their place in the ticket booth!

Nik and Amber showed up for Saturday! (the honeymoon couple)
How cute are they!? Amber is a doll face, and hopefully a soon-to-be sister-in-law!


The harley hawties made their appearance as well :)

And so the show went on and it was FANTASTIC!! Mom- your word means nothing to me when it comes to you talking yourself and your abilities down. You are amazing, face it. Also- kudos to others that helped with the concert as well as those fab and ridiculously talented dancers! From hip hop to contemporary, this concert hit the spot! If you missed this show, make sure to catch it next year!

A W33 8IT 0FF...

Things are a bit off with me this week. That smile of mine isn't coming quite like it did last week. Don't get me wrong, i'm still happy. But let me tell you what i've noticed and you can see for yourself that things are just not right... if you know me at all, you will know how out of my element these things really are:

First- I woke up this morning and walked into my kitchen where I found my dinner neatly placed with a glass of milk by its side. I had taken the time to make myself a descent dinner the night before... and completely forgotten to eat it.

2 nd. I didn't call darby back...

C) I missed gym time last night. It was swimming and yoga. I also skipped out on kickboxing...

fourth, i just realized my oatmeal is sitting in my microwave at home... great.

- I've been doing my homework...

F. I don't look forward to sleeping because my nights are restless and filled with crazy/bad dreams.

7~ Whenever I talk to any member of my family i begin to cry. Mostly because I am realizing how grateful i am for them, and i feel sad that they are experiencing the trials they are. Yesterday, I called my dear grama in the hospital and by the middle of the convo she was comforting Me, testifying my Heavenly Father was watching over Me, and telling Me it would all be okay. Truly a hero of mine.

VIII. I wrote Bryan... the first half about my family, second half- my testimony.

eighth/ I've been waking up on time. Sometimes I even wake up early and lie in bed waiting for my alarm to go off so i can get up.

J) Someone passed away. (see previous blog)

LaStLy- I have only listened to one Michael Jackson song all week. YiKeS!

(not all of these are bad... just different. and i think i'll keep some of them i.e. Homework!)

You know something is off when you take yourself out of the here and now to peer inward as to view all the pieces and how they work together. Wayyy too much thinking 'about' life instead of living 'in' life. But sometimes putting everything into perspective is good and refreshing. So as you can see, things are in a bit of a funk.

But I feel like it has been that way for quite a few people this week (from what I've heard). Perhaps something in the galaxy is not aligned.
Maybe it was that earthquake in Chile that moved the earth off its axis like 3 inches.
Yes, that is definitely it.
Well, my friends, it can only get better from here :)
Mom's concert will be done with after this week, grandma will be out of the hospital, a few tests will be out of the way, and we can all get back to our happy, stable
lives.

Sleep Well Sweet Grandma

This world just lost one of it's sweetest, most gentle, kind-loving members- my grandma rosenvall. Grandma Rosenvall is the mother of my step mom, Carol. Although it has been a while since I have been with her (she's in Canada), I will never forget the memories i made by her side. She was with me through the hardest trial of my life- losing my dad. While he was in surgery all day long, she sat with us kids. She was the first one to teach me how to do any type of sewing. With her gentle encouragement and incredible patience, she helped me make a book mark with my name running down the front. I can remember her soft voice telling me it would be alright, and her loving embrace as I received, literally, the worst news of my life.
Her spirit was pure and countenance- entirely genuine. She always made me feel at home wherever we were. After my dad passed, she made these cutest teddy bears with our name and dad's football number in blue and white. Her capacity to love was great, and her willingness to do so even greater. Please pray for that wonderful family.
I know my dad has his arms outstretched as she enters those gates.

I went to the temple on Tuesday, and as I left, one of the sweet workers put his hand on my shoulder and with a huge grin asked me if I believed in life after death. I smiled equally as big and said, without a shadow of a doubt, Yes. I do not believe in coincidences, people. Lie in peace grandma rosenvall, i know our Savior will now take you into his rest. xoxo

Firsts...

So I was raised by a single Mother and knew one thing growing up- Dance! She was an incredible dancer her whole life, drill coach, dance company adviser, competition judge, UDJA officer... basically a goddess in the dance world. To this day, people call her to have her come look at their dances and invite her company to guest perform. (Year end concert coming up!) Dance was our walk, talk, food, drink, breath, life. Yes, I did well in school and we went to church and spent time with the family, but dance was a huge part of growing up. (Dance Blog Coming Soon). Anyway- this is clearly a topic i'm passionate about, but not the one i'm addressing at the moment. What i'm trying to say is- there wasn't much time for other activities. Or money for that fact -costumes and competitions get pricey! And the older I get, the more life i see that there is to live. So, when I got into college, I decided I wanted to really experience life- for i have seen but one small tiny portion of it. As such, this last year was filled with 'firsts'. Great experiences and fun times! (Many that I have to thank great friends for exposing me to i.e. darbs, lou, nik, vick, bryan, tune, hill, etc. ) So let me share a few of those with you...

For the first time I...

1. Shot a Shotgun!

2. Went river rafting!

3. Sat under a train bridge!

4. Attended a rodeo!

5. Learned to ballroom dance!

6. Went skiing!

7. Took singing lessons!

8. Tried new foods!

9. Was a bride's maid!

10. Tried wakeboarding!

11. Ran a 5k!

12. Went rock climbing!

13. Saw a 3d movie!

14. Hiked the Y!

YAAAYYY!

So those are a few of the "firsts" that i experienced this year!!! More to come: Learn a new language, play the piano, live in a different country for 3 months, figure out this cooking thing etc. Wish me luck!! :)