So I was out in DC, but had to fly home in June for my dear mum's wedding. While I was home, i hung out with bff jeffy. Well one morning when I went over for breakfast, Jeffy's neighbor, William Hayes Johnson, meandered over there as well and hung out with us. I had met him a few times in the past, but nothing too memorable. Well apparently he had a little crush on me and boy was he on one, lemme just tell ya... this smooth talker was playing all the right moves and saying all the right words to me but i was Not havin it... well not too much at least. We hung out the entire day long, then it started getting late and I needed to head home, but this smooth talker was not ready to give up. With one last attempt, he offered me a ride in his bmw... and being the polite young girl i am, i obliged. Ohhhh wow. I've never understood why girls like nice fast cars and think that they are such a turn on... oh i get it now haha. So needless to say... we may have had a lil kissy kissy smoochy smoochy that night... it happens... lol.
Well that was that- I went home and returned to Jeffy's the next morning for breakfast again. Wellsss- guess who else was there? Mister nice-car smooth-talker. So we hung out again... and smooched again.. and thus the short-lived routine began! So this happened for a few days in a row, and I was just having fun with this young rocker boy while I was finishing my time in SLC. He kept asking me on dates and wanting to know my middle name, and violating every other 'fling' rule in the book, but i refused. After all- the kid had a pimp chalice and listened to nonstop 80's rock. But alas, my time did soon come to an end and I headed back out to DC.
Now the best way to describe this is as a "hit it, and he forgot to quit it" kinda thing.
I gave him my number... and he called. This, in itself was quite confusing. I was across the country... why did he need to be calling me? haha Then he texted... then we skyped... every night... so random, right? Well. We really got to know each other over the course of the Summer and we both jokingly set our facebook statuses as 'in an open relationship'. At first, it was a joke. But in reality- that's exactly what it was. I fell for him. Hard and fast. But he just wasn't right for me... i thought. He didn't fit that schema of my 'type' of guy. He wasn't black and he didn't play for a sports team.... what ever was i to do? But he was so... different...
He was intelligent(which I would have never guessed by our first encounter). Very very intelligent. Insomuch that I was google-ing half our conversations to find out what he was trying to say to me. I guess that's what private school and Pepperdine will do to ya. He was on the debate team... and trained in karate. He loved to play basketball and had long shaggy rocker hair. He wasn't on a mission, but was raised mormon and def liked to party. He was embracing his youth and living his life with this incredible optimism that I still cannot grasp. He played guitar... fantastically. He made me feel like the most important thing in the world. He had fashion sense... and understood my sentimental side. I loooved talking to him, and he literally made me laugh so hard. It was fun being 'with' him... but there were many doubts that filled my mind. And being so far away... really stressed me out. I didn't know what was going to happen and I hadn't had enough in-person time to know what I really wanted. I was out in DC, and didn't want to worry about any of that. We were in different places... and the chances of it working out were not exactly high. The month I was going to move home was the month he'd be moving out to Malibu. He was great, but i have commitment issues and we were getting too close for comfort. I started to get nervous, and finally broke it off the night before I was heading to VA beach for my bday weekend. That was that. And as you can imagine, I didn't get an ounce of sleep that night. I knew that I cared about him and, after months of growing close and confiding in each other and supporting one another, I really did love him. But I just couldn't handle the cognitive dissonance any longer. I will never forget the look on his face. I don't think I realized how attached either of us had gotten. But like i said, that was that...
So the next morning I headed out with my 2 besties for our road trip to the beach. On our way there... I got a phone call from Jeffy. He told me that Hayes was in jail...
I was shocked, confused, hurt, and mainly... just confused. Jeffy explained that he had decided to drink the night before and ended up getting a DUI. I was devastated.
I obviously still loved him- that doesn't disappear with goodbye. But I was mad at him... mad at him for coping with the break up that way. For being so selfish, when in reality he only thought it would be affecting him. Mad at him for ruining my birthday weekend... when really blame could have been tossed around for anything that was going on. I was mad at myself for not realizing how close we had actually gotten, and for treating it so carelessly. Mad at myself for allowing myself to be so vulnerable. And so I cried. It hurt. And at that point in time, there was nothing I could do about it...
So after 3 long days- he was out. Apparently the whole jail thing wasn't exactly necessary, but def gave us all a wake up call. He lost his license for 2 years... and we didn't talk for a few months.
And then there was silence between us... for many moons.
He moved to Malibu for college and I came home from DC and headed back to the Y. But around November, we started talking again. It was very platonic, friendly chat. A Summer fling that had been buried in the past. I had moved on, and so had he.
Well around that same time, I got news of Beth's wedding in LA, at the end of December. I asked Hayes how far LA was from where he lived, and come to find out, it was only a hop skip away. And so, I asked if M and I could stay with him for our week long vacay. He agreed to it and so we headed out a few weeks later.
Now honestly... I didn't expect anything to happen. Maybe a thank you kiss, but that was about it. Well when I saw him in the airport... holding that George Foreman grill... i knew he was the one for me!!
... just kidding haha. It felt like I was seeing an old friend! It was just good to be in the presence with someone that knows me so well and that I click with. Like I said- we had both moved on.
Well... let's just say it took less than 24 hours for me to completely fall in love with him. Again. But it was different this time. He was different. He had really changed from Summer time. A good change. And I knew for a fact that it wasn't for me because I wasn't involved until this point. He had matured sooo much that I couldn't even believe it. He was a responsible adult and remained the fun, goofy guy i fell for 7 months ago. It was amazing the amount of growing up that took place. It may not have felt right in the Summer, but it definitely felt right now. I soaked up every second I got with him and even then- couldn't get enough. It really felt too good to be true. He was so perfect in my eyes- not to mention he treated me like a goddess! He was so respectful, and kind, and selfless, and humble and sweet. It was great. We had what I think of as one of the best weeks of my life... but like all good things, it came to an end. :(
I cried the whole plane ride home... I didn't want to leave that beautiful place or that incredible guy. I left my heart in Cali... with him... and so. When we landed. I did what any young and in love girl would do and bought a plane ticket back out there. Round two was even better. I got to go out there as his girlfriend and spend some quality time with him. It was amazing...
And so here we are. Switching off weekend visits every few weeks and skyping every night. I honestly don't deserve him. And you would Never put us two together. But we've got this whole "rocker dude- tall blonde diva" couple look workin for us. It's kinda precious, really. We are sooo different, yet I can't think of anyone more perfect for me. He feeds any emotional need I've ever had. I don't ever doubt if he is thinking about me or if he loves me... he never even gives me a chance to doubt that and i am sooo grateful for it! I can actually trust him, and I am allowing myself to be vulnerable because that's how relationships are built. Plus, he makes it easy because he is sooo worth being vulnerable for. He has proven himself to me, and now it's my turn. He thinks he is soo lucky to have me, but in reality I feel beyonddd blessed to have him. He showed me what I meant to him by not letting me go, and instead of telling me that i deserve better- he became better. He never gave up on me, and totally worked to get what he wanted. This is the kind of guy I want to be with. He even gives me my 'emotional space' when I need it but is right there to hold me thru the tears. He is such a remarkable man and honestly 'gets' women... or me at least. But he doesn't brag about it... like you know those tools that claim they understand girls soooo well. He makes me feel needed and spoiled at the same time. Do you see why I love him? haha. He loves me for exactly who I am and empowers me. Excuse the cheesiness... but he really is my best friend and makes me happier than anyone I know.
Now I don't know what the future holds... I was planning on moving out there in August, but after we talked about it we decided he would move home so that we could be by our families and save a whole lotta money. I am a little devastated... Afterall Hayes was only half the reason I loved that vacation hahaha. Cali is where i belonggg! But. My family is here. My school and job opportunities are here. My lover will be here. So here is where I will stay... for now haha. This could all change in a heartbeat anyway, but that is the plan so far.
Now obviously I can only include so many details on a blog... but this is the basic idea: I am in love and that is the only sure thing that I know. Oh and I have a pretty sweet V day package to send him! haha.
but until then... I will keep you posted...
He moved to Malibu for college and I came home from DC and headed back to the Y. But around November, we started talking again. It was very platonic, friendly chat. A Summer fling that had been buried in the past. I had moved on, and so had he.
Well around that same time, I got news of Beth's wedding in LA, at the end of December. I asked Hayes how far LA was from where he lived, and come to find out, it was only a hop skip away. And so, I asked if M and I could stay with him for our week long vacay. He agreed to it and so we headed out a few weeks later.
Now honestly... I didn't expect anything to happen. Maybe a thank you kiss, but that was about it. Well when I saw him in the airport... holding that George Foreman grill... i knew he was the one for me!!
... just kidding haha. It felt like I was seeing an old friend! It was just good to be in the presence with someone that knows me so well and that I click with. Like I said- we had both moved on.
Well... let's just say it took less than 24 hours for me to completely fall in love with him. Again. But it was different this time. He was different. He had really changed from Summer time. A good change. And I knew for a fact that it wasn't for me because I wasn't involved until this point. He had matured sooo much that I couldn't even believe it. He was a responsible adult and remained the fun, goofy guy i fell for 7 months ago. It was amazing the amount of growing up that took place. It may not have felt right in the Summer, but it definitely felt right now. I soaked up every second I got with him and even then- couldn't get enough. It really felt too good to be true. He was so perfect in my eyes- not to mention he treated me like a goddess! He was so respectful, and kind, and selfless, and humble and sweet. It was great. We had what I think of as one of the best weeks of my life... but like all good things, it came to an end. :(
I cried the whole plane ride home... I didn't want to leave that beautiful place or that incredible guy. I left my heart in Cali... with him... and so. When we landed. I did what any young and in love girl would do and bought a plane ticket back out there. Round two was even better. I got to go out there as his girlfriend and spend some quality time with him. It was amazing...
And so here we are. Switching off weekend visits every few weeks and skyping every night. I honestly don't deserve him. And you would Never put us two together. But we've got this whole "rocker dude- tall blonde diva" couple look workin for us. It's kinda precious, really. We are sooo different, yet I can't think of anyone more perfect for me. He feeds any emotional need I've ever had. I don't ever doubt if he is thinking about me or if he loves me... he never even gives me a chance to doubt that and i am sooo grateful for it! I can actually trust him, and I am allowing myself to be vulnerable because that's how relationships are built. Plus, he makes it easy because he is sooo worth being vulnerable for. He has proven himself to me, and now it's my turn. He thinks he is soo lucky to have me, but in reality I feel beyonddd blessed to have him. He showed me what I meant to him by not letting me go, and instead of telling me that i deserve better- he became better. He never gave up on me, and totally worked to get what he wanted. This is the kind of guy I want to be with. He even gives me my 'emotional space' when I need it but is right there to hold me thru the tears. He is such a remarkable man and honestly 'gets' women... or me at least. But he doesn't brag about it... like you know those tools that claim they understand girls soooo well. He makes me feel needed and spoiled at the same time. Do you see why I love him? haha. He loves me for exactly who I am and empowers me. Excuse the cheesiness... but he really is my best friend and makes me happier than anyone I know.
Now I don't know what the future holds... I was planning on moving out there in August, but after we talked about it we decided he would move home so that we could be by our families and save a whole lotta money. I am a little devastated... Afterall Hayes was only half the reason I loved that vacation hahaha. Cali is where i belonggg! But. My family is here. My school and job opportunities are here. My lover will be here. So here is where I will stay... for now haha. This could all change in a heartbeat anyway, but that is the plan so far.
Now obviously I can only include so many details on a blog... but this is the basic idea: I am in love and that is the only sure thing that I know. Oh and I have a pretty sweet V day package to send him! haha.
but until then... I will keep you posted...
xoxo miss jer bree
so glad you shared. It sounds like you two have something special...
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