Fetiquette Faux Pas

Fetiquette=

Facebook
(social networking site)
+
Etiquette
(conventional requirements as to social behavior; proprieties of conduct as established in any class or community or for any occasion)

Its about time somebody said something. And, since I am such a willing soul, I will voluntarily be the voice of the people. You're welcome ;) Have you ever seen a picture on facebook and thought, "Yuck! TMI!" Do you ever find yourself feeling like your wayyy too involved in somebody else's personal life? Well i have the cure, for a limited time only! Presenting: Fetiquette. Aka Facebook Etiquette. The problem with facebook these days is that people are sharing way more information than anyone needs/wants to know. Its just.... Not right! Perhaps i can better stress my point with a few instances where fetiquette was incredibly neglected, yet needed. Here is a list of Facebook faux pas groups:

1. The Lovers. "i love you" "no i love you more" "1.3 more hours til i see you again" "happy 2 months!!!" "i can't live without you" " you're my better half" "i love you so much" "hey have i told you lately that i love you" "i lovey you more than life!" "my love for you exceeds the highest mountain" jerica's respons: GET A ROOM!

2. The Newlyweds. [jerica's interpretation] "i hate sleeping without him [i want to do what married couples do...]" "the bed feels so empty tonight [i'm getting insecure sleeping alone even tho i've done it my whole life]" "i want my hubby to come home from work so i can give him all my kisses [now that i am married i have no life without him and can't entertain myself]" "makin dinner for my sweet sexy husband [i don't want to become an old maid- wait where is my backbone?]" "i'm the luckiest girl in the world and have the most perfect husband ever [be jealous while i generalize]" Pictures: I don't need to see you mounting your husband in a playful picture, and i def don't want pictures of your honeymoon hotel room- I really hate feeling like i'm living it with you!

3. The Visuals. I'm sorry you had surgery, but i don't care to see your insides and read about your guts. Injuries are tough, but i would much rather prefer that you post before and after pictures rather than during with inflamation, blood, and things where they shouldn't be. Ew gross.

4. The Sailors. Thats right, profanity- not cool. I don't mind an "a" word or a "d" word every once in a while. But lets let "f" be for "facebook" only. Also, innuendos- please, by all means, keep saying 'thats what she said'. Seriously- those make me die laughing. But the nasty, inappropriate sexual references- really not necessary.

5. The Missionaries. If you are a missionary- Get Off Facebook!!! I don't think Moroni or Joseph Smith ever felt the need to check their social status while on the Lord's errand, neither do you. If you are going to do the mission thing, then do it! And not just half way. For girls waiting- do not obsess over your missionary via facebook. We know you miss him, but the weekly countdown gets real old real fast. That's why they made journals. So you can have your pity party without dragging us all thru it with you. And really- i think you'll be okay without writing on their wall each day. Insecure much? How about you learn how to stand on your own two feet while they are gone then maybe they'll give you the time of day when they get back. My missionary even took the 'bigger' step and deleted his facebook. Kudos to him.

6. Myspace Pics. I know what you look like, I don't need a picture of your face from every angle with thirty different outfits on. Do you realize how it looks to someone that goes to your prof pics and see a millions photos of Just you. At least throw a baby or a dog in there to give it a little sentiment. And consider different locations- Your face might not get as boring to look at if you toss an ocean or temple in the background every once in a while. Oh and please- keep your clothes on. If i wanted to see your body i would have just asked. At least charge for that kind of photo instead of posting it for everyone and their dog to see. And don't get toooo artistic on me, facebook can only handle so much eccentricity.

7. Gossip-ers, backstabbers, or extreme venters... Grow up.

8. Page requests. The most annoying thing since furbies.

9. 9 year olds, 90 year olds, and dogs. It is not expedient that you have a facebook page, especially since you will probably get on about zero times a year. You're either too young, too old, or not human.

10. The Creeper. If I don't know you, i won't add you as my 'friend'. If I Do know you and don't add you, no need to be butthurt, maybe i jsut want you to pick up the phone and call for updates on my life rather then let me freely feed them to you. You do still know how to do that, don't you? I mean personally- my only facebook friends are family and people that I see daily, with a few exceptions. Just because we aren't 'facebook friends' doesn't mean i think any less of you as a person.

11. The Vaugebooker. "Vaguebooking: An intentionally vague Facebook status update, that prompts friends to ask what's going on, or is possibly a cry for help. Mary is: "wondering if it is all worth it" Mark is: "thinking that was a bad idea"" ~Urban Dictionary. If you want that kind of attention- call your shrink.

***I hope these weren't too harsh, if it makes you feel any better I am rightfully guilty of one or more Facebook faux pas. Now I love facebook, and when used correctly it can be a great place to chat, share inside jokes, cute pictures, funny links, birthday wishes, updates, and opinions. But as with all good things- there is use and abuse. So folks, be the change you want to see in the world and get yourself some Fetiquette.