At 11 mom and i headed over to the dentist. The whole way there we argued what each person thought sucked the worst about going to the dentist. We ended up in a tie between the goose bump scraping and the brain freeze ice cold water bursts. But nonetheless, we had to grin and bear it. Turns out it isn't as bad as we had made it out to be. I told the dentist my teeth were in perfect health, and he laughed, but then agreed after a quick mouth examination and glance at the x-rays. Then we got talking, and this is the part i wanted to talk about. So this is our family dentist who as been seeing us since I can remember. He's older and thus a bit out-dated. (When i say out-dated i mean he doesn't blog, think plastic surgery is essential, and has no clue who Justin Bieber is. But he's not going gray yet or anything). So anyway, we get chatting about my teeth (as one does at the dentist). And, if you didn't know, half of my front tooth is fake due to a tragic scooter accident in 7th grade. If you look close enough, it is quite obvious. But a passer by would have no clue. Well Dr. D was giving me some options like doing a veneer etc. But this unleashed a complex of mine.
Complex: a system of interrelated, emotionally charged ideas, feelings, memories, and impulses that is usually repressed and that gives rise to abnormal or pathological behavior.
a fixed idea; an obsessive notion
My complex (well one of them) is me obsessing with my teeth- my smile. I feel like my teeth are crooked, like i just don't have that ideal smile. i was in braces for 6 years and retainers for about the same, trust me, my teeth are anything but crooked! But then i think well maybe they just aren't white, or my mouth is too narrow, or they could be a wrong shape. Whatever it is, i don't like it. So I was sharing this with my dentist, and he just kind of looked at me. He told me my smile was as close to perfect as he'd ever seen. I shot him down (refer to previous body image blog to note the hypocrisy). I asked about bleaching trays, and cosmetic re-shaping. He basically told me I could possibly get them a little whiter, and maybe shave off a tiny here and there even tho that would be counterproductive, but overall there wasn't much i could or should be doing to it. He told me they make dentures to look how my smile looks, meaning there is nothing wrong with it. When I persisted, he gave me my last option: Veneers. On all my front teeth at $800 per tooth. He told me thats what the celebrities do, as if to avail some desire i have to look like hollywood... And thats when it hit me.
I like to watch those shows with the dumb girls who get mounds of plastic surgery, wear layers of pricey make up and still never become happy so they end up going to counseling and are told that they have a severe body image fixation disorder. I think of how ridiculous and silly that is. I remember one episode where the doctor told this girl there was absolutely nothing more he could do. She didn't want the bigger boobs, but the smaller ones were too small. She was relying on external factors for her happiness, and it wasn't happening. Her chest size was being determined by her mental state.
I was acting like one of these girls. I finally snapped back to my senses and told the dentist that i do remember seeing my smile in pictures and thinking that it looked prettier than it does when i stare in the mirror for minutes at a time. He told me that was a much better judgment of how i really look. I was so embarrassed at this point. This man, who has lived years of a meaningful life, embraced religion, and knows hardship and love listened to a little 19 year old girl whine about her already perfect smile. I was ashamed, but not too hard on myself for i am human. But it scared me that hollywood had gotten a hold of me and i didn't even know it. Trying to be your best self is completely different. It is good to look your hottest and dress your best, but its when we start comparing ourselves to others that we get in trouble. When our best is not good enough and we have to turn to some artificial means, that is a problem. As i tried to explain to him what i wanted, the image of my friends' gorgeous teeth was the one i was attempting to articulate. But i realized that i don't want their teeth, i want mine. I love my smile just the way it is... perfect :)
My complex (well one of them) is me obsessing with my teeth- my smile. I feel like my teeth are crooked, like i just don't have that ideal smile. i was in braces for 6 years and retainers for about the same, trust me, my teeth are anything but crooked! But then i think well maybe they just aren't white, or my mouth is too narrow, or they could be a wrong shape. Whatever it is, i don't like it. So I was sharing this with my dentist, and he just kind of looked at me. He told me my smile was as close to perfect as he'd ever seen. I shot him down (refer to previous body image blog to note the hypocrisy). I asked about bleaching trays, and cosmetic re-shaping. He basically told me I could possibly get them a little whiter, and maybe shave off a tiny here and there even tho that would be counterproductive, but overall there wasn't much i could or should be doing to it. He told me they make dentures to look how my smile looks, meaning there is nothing wrong with it. When I persisted, he gave me my last option: Veneers. On all my front teeth at $800 per tooth. He told me thats what the celebrities do, as if to avail some desire i have to look like hollywood... And thats when it hit me.
I like to watch those shows with the dumb girls who get mounds of plastic surgery, wear layers of pricey make up and still never become happy so they end up going to counseling and are told that they have a severe body image fixation disorder. I think of how ridiculous and silly that is. I remember one episode where the doctor told this girl there was absolutely nothing more he could do. She didn't want the bigger boobs, but the smaller ones were too small. She was relying on external factors for her happiness, and it wasn't happening. Her chest size was being determined by her mental state.
I was acting like one of these girls. I finally snapped back to my senses and told the dentist that i do remember seeing my smile in pictures and thinking that it looked prettier than it does when i stare in the mirror for minutes at a time. He told me that was a much better judgment of how i really look. I was so embarrassed at this point. This man, who has lived years of a meaningful life, embraced religion, and knows hardship and love listened to a little 19 year old girl whine about her already perfect smile. I was ashamed, but not too hard on myself for i am human. But it scared me that hollywood had gotten a hold of me and i didn't even know it. Trying to be your best self is completely different. It is good to look your hottest and dress your best, but its when we start comparing ourselves to others that we get in trouble. When our best is not good enough and we have to turn to some artificial means, that is a problem. As i tried to explain to him what i wanted, the image of my friends' gorgeous teeth was the one i was attempting to articulate. But i realized that i don't want their teeth, i want mine. I love my smile just the way it is... perfect :)
everyone's got their body issues at some point or another. i think women feel the pressure more because we get chewed up and spit out because of how we look all of the time. 'tis a struggle for me more times than i'd like to admit.
ReplyDeleteExactly! and i think i do that too... fail to admit it haha. Because of course we want to come off as these fearless, confident women who have no problem with our God-given bodies. But tis not always so. :)
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